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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Sadness..

This morning while I was driving to work, the sadness once again touched my heart deeply; the memory of Jesus once again came to me. I cried all the way to work; even though I wanted to stop, the tears would just roll down. I feel a deep sadness in my heart and I don't think it will ever go away! I think about him every single day; the image of is face is in my mind like if he were still standing in front of me. Some days like today when the sadness enters my soul, I wish I were with him now, then I wake up and realize I need to be here and keep on going for or son; our son needs me. Even though I know our son needs me, a great part of me really doesn't want to be here! I want to be under the same land he is now.

When I die, I would like to be buried in Mexico to rest by his side, to rest in the place where we last were together and were happy! I have decided to be buried in Matachic, Chihuahua, Mexico. I don't think I can ever love again! No one can or will be able to replace the love we felt for one another, it was so great nothing will even break that bond. Even though his body is no longer here, I know he's soul continues on and is always watching over us. The love we had for each other was so great and still is so great not even death can break it. Even though when he was alive we went through rough patches we never stopped caring and loving one another; us together made a whole, and when apart we both felt like a half. That is the way I feel now, alone and as a half! No one can take my pain away. The pain makes me realize how much I truly loved him, how much I still love him, and that I am so very lucky to know what love is. My advice to everyone is to love deeply now if you are blessed to still have your loved ones still here on earth; take advantage of that and don't waste time fighting or with resentments. Live life to the fullest.


  1. Hey my sista from a different mista, I know the heart ache of losing a loved one you know I lost my daughter and my step dad and I know the pain I have from that but I dont know what it is like to lose my bestfriend and lover and for that Im sorry for your hurt I wish there is some way to take the pain away, but what I can do for you if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to talk or yell Im her girl whenever 247 so use me~love ya~

  2. Hi, you stopped by my blog and left me a sweet comment.

    Sweetie, I'm not sure how you lost your love, but this is just so sad and beautiful and heart wrenching. Keep your head up. It sounds like you had an amazing love. He hasn't left you. I'm sure you know that. His love is everywhere around you. God Bless you and stay strong.


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Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?"Psalm 27:1

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