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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Dream not yet reached...

Who are we in this world, Ghosts? Sometimes I feel I don’t or can’t move with each day that passes.   I am filled with ghosts from my pass; things no matter how much I try I can never forget.  People I miss that are no longer with me; things I have always dreamt about but no matter how hard I try I can never accomplish…

 

They say money can’t buy you happiness, I don’t totally agree or disagree but I do know that with money many things can be accomplished and if you don’t have it, you will have to strive harder and suffer longer.  I appreciate the things I have because there are people way much less unfortunate than myself and yes I feel blessed by God for all I have and for all that I am, but sometimes I get so sad that because of having no money I can’t finish my college degree…

 

Being a single mother is not easy, but I love my son and would give everything that I am to see him happy.  No matter how hard I try to get back into school the more money I owe, I feel I am drowning in debt and although I don’t lose my sleep over things I cannot change in one day it makes me sad I am one semester away from my dream, my dream of obtaining my college degree and I can’t finish it due to being broke.

 

I don’t know how or why God does the things that he does, but I do know they are for something greater; to learn from life to build a purpose for living.  I just can’t stop thinking that If I had never got cancer I would now have my degree and have a better job to give my son everything he deserves and to be able to have a college fund for him, but unfortunately I am stuck and I don’t know what to do.

 

I had to drop out of my classes since 2011 for cancer treatments and surgeries and that was when it all started happening; the classes I had to drop during that semester were charged and they didn’t charge them off my loans and now to get back in I have to pay $6000 out of my own pocket; that fulfillment is unreachable to me right now and it makes me angry.

 

I have to find a solution but don’t know where to start and don’t have the money, all my time and energy go to my work to support my son, pay my mortgage and all the other bills.  I search and apply for scholarships but nothing happens.

 

It was nice to vent…

Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?"Psalm 27:1

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