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Thursday, July 10, 2014

July, 10 2014

32 years Today ...
Today on waking in the holy land, my heart is filled with great excitement and gratitude to God for another year of life, a day of encouragement!

Today is a special day that reminds me that God is great, miraculous and merciful! This I decided to share with those who do not know God, to those who Don't know of his love and nobility, which do not know if you ask him in faith, he will listen! It is also very important that others pray for us with their prayers because they intercede for us with God. With prayers of our friends and family, he realizes they need us, they love us. Want proof? I have many, our lives as we know it is not insured, that is why today I want to share a few of my miracles with you, I say a few because these are not all of them 
Here you go ...

2005: Age of 23
Diagnosis: Brain Tumor
Resolution: A Brain Surgery
Outcome: Death during surgery
Miracle: * On a cold dark hallway I see when the doctor came to tell my family that I didn't survive the surgery, cries were heard and God gave me the option to return! I relived to raise my 4 year old son and to see him grow. Tumor removed without cancer, with complete recovery.

2008: Age of 26
Diagnosis: 2 cancers
Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma & Thyroid Cancer.
Resolution: Surgery and radiation
Outcome: 3 surgeries and radiation, Complete loss of calcium and thyroid glands that require many pills to take for life.
Miracle: * Survive three surgeries, overcame obstacles, had a holy boss who paid my salary for 6 months plus medical expenses so I could support my child while doing my treatment in Denver without working, he gave me support without receiving anything in return so I did not fail in my treatment, overcame the pain, fear, radiation, and vomiting. I beat cancer. God never left me alone when I felt more alone than ever, he made me stronger. In my darkest moments I never lost my faith. I'm still here to see my son grow up and that is a miracle. And even after all the hell, still being able to smile is a miracle!

2011: Age of 29
Diagnosis: Thyroid Cancer back angrier than ever, spreading through the vocal cords, neck, shoulders, and chest.
Resolution: Surgery that only a doctor could perform in Houston Texas and risking losing my voice, body movements, and even life itself.
Outcome: Obstacles of money to travel away from home, full of fear of not returning back alive.
Miracle: Although I saw the dark, I never lost my faith. I had the support of my dad, love of my life, and my son. The four of us traveled to meet the miraculous and wonderful doctor that all doctors here talked about,
Dr. Clayman at MD Anderson Cancer Center told me Cristina do not worry everything will be fine, I do this every day and God will not forsake us, and that's how it happened, 84 tumors were removed, my life and my voice saved again! God always listens, always with him first.

2013: Age of 31
Diagnosis: Thyroid Cancer back again.
Resolution: Surgery
Obstacle: 9 months of waiting without knowing what to do, pain, despair, death visits, stressful times without resolution.
Hope: Treating with natural herbs and marijuana while doctors decided what to do!
Outcome: Support from more people, friends, family, acquaintances, after messages, calls, they gave me strength when my faith was draining, strong words of encouragement gave me strength not to give in!
We traveled to Houston, Texas in February 2014, the doctor said he saw a worse factor in which there was a tumor in the back of the airway and it was necessary to do a biopsy under anesthesia and if it was malignant he would not have the expertise to do that surgery. More concerns were surrounding my mind but I never hesitated to talk to God nor my Virgin of Guadalupe. During anesthesia as I was asleep, I saw the most beautiful of all bright lights and I saw my Mamita, she said Mija Turn back, she was telling me it's not your time yet, wake up! I Listened to doctors who would tell me Cristina do not do this to us please wake up, listened but could not return, did not want to leave that beautiful peace that is felt there, I wanted to continue talking to my Mamita, she took my hand and I woke up, but I was so weak I could not speak, the doctors didn't know what to do, they said they did not want to worry my husband they would not say anything to him until I reacted. A basic procedure that was supposed to last about 2 hours lasted all day.
Miracle: The tumor from the biopsy was benign and the other we traveled for was smaller due to the treatment of marijuana. At this time the surgery would be more dangerous than the cancer, there was no surgery and we will keep watching for it to see if it grows, if it does we will take the risk at that time and not right now.

2014: Age 32
Diagnosis: Miracle of Life
Outcome: Live with God in your heart and no matter what obstacles life gives you, he will never leave you alone because he listens! If I died tomorrow I would not complain because I have lived longer than I thought to have lived, I'm full of life, happy and I have many that I love and that they love me. God has given me the good fortune to live in many hearts that with love will always Remember me. But I have faith that God still wants me to continue here fighting and battling some more here on earth and that's what I will do until the end!

Hallelujah to The Lord for today on my birthday although I do not have full health I'm still here, God gave me another year and I am happy, I have everything I need. There are people who drown in a glass of water and do not realize how beautiful life is, that money and material stuff is not the most important but is God, the true and sincere love, children and family, sincere friendships that give you their love. These things if you have them, you are the richest of all because money and things come and go and you can't take them with you! So today I celebrate the miracle of God, if you're still reading, May God bless you today and always. I love all of you ...

Happy Birthday Cristina ...
32 years full of blessings and what's left of them to come!
 — feeling she has a lot to say today.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Last Night...

Last night Death came to visit me, she challenged me!  She told me see all the doors closing in on you, that is because that’s the way I want it and there is nothing you can do against my will, I am the ruler of life and the boss of when it ends, NOT YOU!

I couldn’t say a word; I just cried and cried like if someone I loved dearly had just passed away.

Last night was the coldest night I have experienced in all of my life, I felt alone, with no one to help me, no one to hug me, and no one to console me, I felt a knot in my throat that almost suffocated me.  Last night I understood Death is cold and without any feelings and when she arrives all you can feel is an intense loneliness.

I cried until dawn, when I woke up to go to work tears still shed from my eyes, my eyes were swollen and my soul is down low.  It’s not the first time Death visits me, but last night I understood the solitude of her message that said: “Whenever I want, loneliness will come to accompany you when I decide to take you with me, in that moment you will be nothing but a memory that crossed through this life, just a memory to those hearts you once touched during your lifetime, that is all you will be when I come back for you.

It’s now morning and my eyes still hurt from last night and with the desire to continue to cry, my soul and spirit are worn out.

I accept the challenge!  Last night I had a weak moment, but “FUCK YOU” because it is best to die fighting than for me to die like a coward!

I am CRISTINA RODRIGUEZ and if I was born trying, I will die fighting!


¡Anoche la muerte me visito, me reto!  Me dijo vez que todas las puertas se te están cerrando, eso es porque yo así lo quiero y no puedes hacer nada en contra de mi voluntad, yo reino la vida y yo soy la jefa de cuando termina, ¡NO TU! 

No pude decir nada, solo llore y llore como si alguien que amara mucho acababa de morir.

Anoche fue la noche mas fría que eh sentido en mi vida, me sentí sola, sin nadie quien me ayudara, abrazara o consolara, sentí un nudo en la garganta que casi me sofocaba.  Anoche comprendí que la muerte es fría y sin sentimientos que cuando llega solo se siente una inmensa soledad. 

Llore hasta la madrugada, cuando desperté para ir a trabajar aun brotaban lágrimas de mis ojos, mis párpados hinchados y mi alma por los suelos.  No es la primera vez que me visita la muerte pero anoche entendí la soledad en su mensaje que decía, cuando yo quiera vendrá la soledad para acompañar te para cuando te lleve conmigo, en ese momento ya no serás nada mas que un recuerdo mas que paso por esta vida, un recuerdo mas para los corazones que tocaste en esta vida, solo eso serás cuando yo regrese por ti. 

Aun mis ojos están dolorosos, con ganas de seguir llorando, mi alma y espíritu desgastados.

¡Acepto el Reto! Anoche tuve un momento de debilidad pero !Chinga tu Madre! Porque es mejor morir peleando, que morir como una cobarde!

!Yo soy CRISTINA RODRIGUEZ y si luchando nací, pelando me muero!

Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?"Psalm 27:1

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