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Thursday, January 9, 2014

Last Night...

Last night Death came to visit me, she challenged me!  She told me see all the doors closing in on you, that is because that’s the way I want it and there is nothing you can do against my will, I am the ruler of life and the boss of when it ends, NOT YOU!

I couldn’t say a word; I just cried and cried like if someone I loved dearly had just passed away.

Last night was the coldest night I have experienced in all of my life, I felt alone, with no one to help me, no one to hug me, and no one to console me, I felt a knot in my throat that almost suffocated me.  Last night I understood Death is cold and without any feelings and when she arrives all you can feel is an intense loneliness.

I cried until dawn, when I woke up to go to work tears still shed from my eyes, my eyes were swollen and my soul is down low.  It’s not the first time Death visits me, but last night I understood the solitude of her message that said: “Whenever I want, loneliness will come to accompany you when I decide to take you with me, in that moment you will be nothing but a memory that crossed through this life, just a memory to those hearts you once touched during your lifetime, that is all you will be when I come back for you.

It’s now morning and my eyes still hurt from last night and with the desire to continue to cry, my soul and spirit are worn out.

I accept the challenge!  Last night I had a weak moment, but “FUCK YOU” because it is best to die fighting than for me to die like a coward!

I am CRISTINA RODRIGUEZ and if I was born trying, I will die fighting!

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Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?"Psalm 27:1

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