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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Happy One Month Anniversary...

April 20, 2010 officially makes our one month anniversary. We have made it through a month of pain free complications; that's actually a first in my life. Alejandro moved down to Albuquerque, New Mexico from Las Vegas, Nevada on March 20, 2010 so we could be together. At first the idea kind of scared me, and made me a bit nervous to have someone I have never met in person move in with me. Would I like him? Would he like me? Sometimes people are different on the phone or online that on a personal basis. Alejandro and I met on Mocospace, yeah! out of all places this is were it turned out to be the place where I would find my other half. (Laugh out loud) We met online about a year ago and became really good friends; at the time we met I was with Jesus and planning our future together. When I was at Jesus's funeral Alejandro was the first one to call; of course he didn't know of the circumstances, but I told him I could not talk at the time because I was too upset and was grieving my loves death. My depression grew with each day that went by, I literally wanted to die. Jesus passing caused me terrible pain not even my son could make me keep going. Months passed by and Alejandro's calls became more frequent; he helped me laugh even though it was just for an instant. For that moment I could forget at least for a minute of the pain I was feeling.
Around February we were casually talking and the words that came out of his month were "Cristina I don't know when or how, but I fell in love with you", I did not know what to say and was completely in shock. I completely stayed quiet, and literally could not talk; he noticed my shock and said, "Cristina forget I said anything; I didn't want to say anything" After weeks and weeks; he begged me to be his girlfriend, but I could not accept. I was in to much pain to think of anything else, I told him I didn't want to cause him any grief with my depression and also that I didn't want to hurt him in case I was not able to love him back. Alejandro's response was he didn't care, and that he would know how to be patient. Months later after all the issues and arguments on the phone we had, we now seem to be happy! We never fight and we get along very well. I can actually now can say that I am happy... I'm still depressed about losing the love of my life which was Jesus, but till we can be together again, I can say I am happy for now!

Life is short and I know my Chuy would not want me to be lonely, so I am trying to stand tall and keep on going. I want to enjoy my life at the fullest while I still can. My advice to my readers is to never give up; and always strive to complete ones goals. Falling makes us stronger; so when you fall don't give up, just get up again and keep on going. God bless you all.

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Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?"Psalm 27:1

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