Cesar was born on April 12, 1976 in Chihuahua, Chihuahua, Mexico; he was the youngest out of his 4 other siblings, he loved to dance and his favorite color was blue. Cesar was a beautiful human being; he was a happy person, he almost never got mad, and he was a major dog lover! Everyone who met Cesar would totally fall in love with his personality; he was very outgoing and made people laugh.
Cesar had many friends and he was always willing to help those who needed of him. Cesar was there by my side in the worst of times; he helped me cope when I was going through my brain tumor. With his words of inspiration of keep fighting, never give up, God is going to help us, I fought through!
Cesar and I met in Denver, Colorado on May 28, 2005 when I was down there for my cousin’s high school graduation party. I was only in Denver for 3 days; in those 3 days he never left my side, even though I would not sleep with him; he spent those nights on my mother’s couch. When the time came I would come back home he was eager for me to stay! I told him I could not stay, but that if he was serious of us having a relationship we could get to meet each other by phone, and we would see what happened.
A week after I came back from Denver, I got ill and found out about my brain tumor. I decided to move to Denver to have my surgery, we moved in with my mother since I needed someone to care for my son Alexandro in case something happened; if I couldn't make it through the surgery.
When we arrived to my mothers house there was Cesar outside of my mothers parking area with all of his things, clothes, and even his dog; I asked what are you doing?; he said I am moving in with you guys, I want to be with you, I want to be by your side and help you through this because I have fallen in love with you. After one month of knowing each other he moved in. I loved him very much, I thought I would always be by his side; we spoke of getting old together, having more kids, and seeing our grandchildren grow up.
A week after I came from Chihuahua, I left to Denver for a second opinion; here in Albuquerque they were not giving me any hope to fight my cancer and was told I could die, so I packed a suit case and left on the bus. After my surgeries, I came back home once again to Albuquerque, and the calls between Cesar and I slowly were drifting away; every time I called he wasn’t home, Cesar and I were drifting away. I felt as though he was never going to come back.
I called and explained I didn’t want a relationship of just one call a month and that I needed more of him; that I was going insane of not knowing nothing about him, especially after knowing the stories on the news and the violence that was going on in Chihuahua, Mexico. Time and time went by, and less and less I knew about how Cesar was doing.
In September 2009 Jesus got really ill; his mother Lupe, Alexandro and I went to Matachic, Chihuahua, MX to see him; this man was the love of my life since I was 14 years old and the father of my son, I had to go.
Have you ever been in love with 2 people at once?
I didn’t think it was possible, but it is! I loved both of these men very much, but I loved Jesus even more. When I was with one I always thought of the other. I went to see Jesus and saw how ill he was and how much he needed of me; we made plans, but those also didn’t come through because he passed away on October 13, 2009.
After Jesus’ death Cesar tried his hardest to help me cope with the pain, but I was in so much pain I would not listen! He would email me to make me understand Jesus was in a better place and that I had to understand he was no longer here. I would not understand I was in too much pain, all I wanted to do at that point was die; but Cesar would never give up; he kept pushing to make me feel better.
Cesar boss refused to pay this quota since it was he’s own business; there was a drive by shooting because of this and on June 29, 2010; five workers were shot, and Cesar was shot twice on the back; he didn’t survive! I can’t believe it, I am in shock; he never got into any problems, never hurt anyone, and now they have taken his life!
This makes me terribly angry; he wanted to live, he wanted to get married, and to have kids, and now all those dreams were taken away from him. The last time I talked to Cesar was on April 12, 2010 when I emailed him to congratulate him on his 34th birthday; he was very happy to hear from me and blessed me as he always did and wished for me to be happy in everything that I decided to do with my life. Goodbye Cesar, now you’re in heaven with Jesus, and I am still here trying to cope with the pain of knowing you are both now gone!
Jorge Cesar Gasson-Carlos April 12, 1976-June 29, 2010
R.I.P you will be missed by all of us who loved you.
I'm very sorry to hear about Cesar dying. It seems you've had such hard luck with Cesar and Jesus. Just know God is there to comfort you and your son, and to stay strong for him.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!! :( HOW TRAGIC! :( I'm so sorry Cristina!!
ReplyDeleteOh my! How horrible! I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comforting comments; I appreciate them from the bottom of my heart. :(
ReplyDeleteits been a year already!
ReplyDelete