Happy Birthday Chuy 2013

When you truly love someone, your heart and mind never forget! Even after death separates you the power of love keeps pumping through your veins and the memories never erase from your mind! As yesterday, as today, and as tomorrow I shall love you till the last breath of my life and even after. Happy birthday my love... Sr. Jesus Manuel Nevarez Cruz RIP I miss u. 02/17/73-10/13/2009

Dream not yet reached...

Who are we in this world, Ghosts? Sometimes I feel I don’t or can’t move with each day that passes.   I am filled with ghosts from my pass; things no matter how much I try I can never forget.  People I miss that are no longer with me; things I have always dreamt about but no matter how hard I try I can never accomplish…

 

They say money can’t buy you happiness, I don’t totally agree or disagree but I do know that with money many things can be accomplished and if you don’t have it, you will have to strive harder and suffer longer.  I appreciate the things I have because there are people way much less unfortunate than myself and yes I feel blessed by God for all I have and for all that I am, but sometimes I get so sad that because of having no money I can’t finish my college degree…

 

Being a single mother is not easy, but I love my son and would give everything that I am to see him happy.  No matter how hard I try to get back into school the more money I owe, I feel I am drowning in debt and although I don’t lose my sleep over things I cannot change in one day it makes me sad I am one semester away from my dream, my dream of obtaining my college degree and I can’t finish it due to being broke.

 

I don’t know how or why God does the things that he does, but I do know they are for something greater; to learn from life to build a purpose for living.  I just can’t stop thinking that If I had never got cancer I would now have my degree and have a better job to give my son everything he deserves and to be able to have a college fund for him, but unfortunately I am stuck and I don’t know what to do.

 

I had to drop out of my classes since 2011 for cancer treatments and surgeries and that was when it all started happening; the classes I had to drop during that semester were charged and they didn’t charge them off my loans and now to get back in I have to pay $6000 out of my own pocket; that fulfillment is unreachable to me right now and it makes me angry.

 

I have to find a solution but don’t know where to start and don’t have the money, all my time and energy go to my work to support my son, pay my mortgage and all the other bills.  I search and apply for scholarships but nothing happens.

 

It was nice to vent…

Maldito Cancer

Maldito mal!
que te pegas con mortal veneno sin mirar a quièn.
¡Maldito ères!,
puès cual vampiro te llevas el alma adsorbida en pedazos de quièn no conoces.
¡Maldito! ¡Maldito! ¡Maldito...!
Tù no miras..., solo arrasas con tu furia.
Alma que vès, alma que te llevas.
¡Dime.... Maldito!
Solo muy pocos de tì se han librado, y siii..... de tì y en tu cara se han burdado.
Poco tiempo ès el que te queda pues tu nombre està maldito.
Pero todavìa habra quienes te mirèn a los ojos y se burlèn en tu cara......
No te llevaràs mi alma maldito infernal, esta vez no podràs.....
Pelaire hasta el final y si llegaras a ganar...
Te llevaras mi cuerpo pero no mi alma ni las batallas que te di...
Eres Maldito!

Feliz Navidad...

12 de Diciembre 2011                                          

Querido Santa,

Este año te pido felicidad y mucha salud para mi hijo Alexandro; que esta navidad la luz de dios lo iluminé y le brinde muchas bendiciones.  Para Alejandro te pido un trabajo estable para los dos poder estar bien. Para mi familia y todos mis amigos te pido que les brindes muchísimo amor, salud, abundancia y que el trabajo no les falte y para mi solo te pido que el trabajo no me falte y que mi salud no falle para poder seguir trabajando y cuidando de mi casa y mi hijo; tambien muchos años de vida para todos los que amo para poder tener los muchos años mas a mi lado.   Gracias y Feliz Navidad Dios los bendiga :-)

Frustrada......

No entiendo porque la vida tiene que ser tan difícil, ay muchos que lo tienen bien fácil y aun se quejan.  La vida es color de rosa para muchos y ni aun así están satisfechos y uno que batalla para salir adelante se conforma con solo estar bien.

Siempre he dicho que las cosas pasar por algo pero quisiera saber el porque es la razón.  Ahora creo que la muerte es fácil y vivir es difícil.  Mi única razón de seguir viviendo es mi hijo, si no fuera por el, el cáncer fuera Ganado hace mucho.  Alomejor lo malo que me pasa es para que mi hijo apprenda que ay que luchar y no dar se por vencido, lo malo de todo esto que el sufre mucho cuando me ve mal y me da mucha tristeza que el pase por todo esto.

A vezes me siento tal mal y tan estressada que quisiera que ya fuera el fin del mundo para que se terminara tanto sufriemeinto, y violencia que ay en el mundo para reunirnos con dios y todos nuestros seres queriedos que nos esperan en el cielo.  Avezes quisera gritar lo mas fuerte que pueda para sacar este coraje que tengo de tanto dolor y sufrimiento.

Solo espero que algún día llegue paz a mi vida otra vez.  Y si ay alguien que tiene que estar enferma en mi familia prefiero ser yo que alguien mas de mi familia, no le deseo esto a nadie a quien yo amo.

JESUS MANUEL NEVAREZ 1973-2009

DEDICADO PARA EL SENOR 

JESUS MANUEL NEVAREZ

RIP FEB 17, 1973-OCT. 13, 2009

2 Años de Anniversario 

Yo no estaba allí cuando llegó tu momento.

Llegue dos horas muy tarde para poder decir te que no te fueras y para decir te que siempre te amare…

Quisiera haber tenido tu mano en la mía

y agarrarte fuerte para no dejarte marchar,

para atraparte y decir cuanto te necesitamos,

decir te que me visitaras todos los días.

Pero te fuiste y tu mano no pude detener mientras tomabas tu ultimo aliento, tu gran mano no me dijo adiós.

Tesoro, corazón, todos los días te siento aunque no te puedo tocar.  Todos los días rezo por tu eterno descanso.

Te Extrañamos mucho y siempre estas en nuestros corazones…

Cristina Rodriguez y Alexandro Nevarez-Rodriguez

Diosito te tenga en su Santa Gloria Prieto.

FINALLY!!!! The House After pictures YAY YAY!!!!

So finally after months and months of struggling of getting our house fixed, and hundreds of dollars in attorney fee's later, it has finally gotten done!  I want to thank our Lord, La Virgen de Guadalupe and all of those people who have been there supporting my family and I through the tough times and struggle we went through since last winter.  God Bless and from the bottom of our hearts thank you so much for all of your Prayers and good thoughts! Oh yeah and also in other news still CANCER FREE!!!! :) all testings come out negative; I have been really blessed...

VERY VERY HAPPY!!! STILL DOING SOME CLEANING AND REARRANGING BUT THANK THE LORD WE HAVE A ROOF OVER US THAT IS IN A LIVING CONDITION! :)

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Thank you.

House Before Pictures...

So these are the before pictures of my house....

AFTER PICTURES WILL SOON ARRIVE!!! ABOUT ONE MORE WEEK IF GOD IS WILLING!!!

Review: Live Loved (Experience God's Presence in Everyday Life)

Author: Max Lucado
$9.46 (Amazon price)
Paperback: 320 pages
Publishing Details:
Publisher: Thomas Nelson; Gift edition (May 3, 2011)
Date: May 3, 2011
Format: Hardcover
ISBN10: 1404190066
ISBN13: 978-1404190061
Language: English

This book helped me survive treatment through Cancer; so weird how much hope, faith, and inspiration you can get from a little book. Every time I felt down or when hope began to fade away I opened up Love Lived and tears of joy came down my cheeks because what this book says is so very true; God never leaves us alone, he is there by our side to guide and protect us and everything he does is because it was written for us to live through that experience. We might not understand his doing or why bad things happen to us, but they happen to make us stronger people, only God knows why tough things arise through our path. This book helps you build faith and help remind ourselves that we can do anything with hope and prayer. Each word goes deep in my heart, I cry every time I read it because I feel God so near; it reminds me that he has never left and is always there to listen, all I have to do is ask of him and he will be there to listen and help with my problems. If you are depressed, going through Cancer, or just have a tough time with life, this book is great to help bring back hope it will show you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Marx Lucado is a great Author; I love all the books I have read so far, I still have a long list to go. You will definitely enjoy this book if you open your heart to it, every time I feel down I open Live Loved and I feel a little better. Hope you Enjoy & God Bless!